All in the Family: When a Diagnosis Leads to a Family Business or Nonprofit – Part VI

When life hands you a dilemma, make dilemmonade! How do you turn frustration, loneliness, feelings of helplessness, and information overload into something positive?

As part of our “From Diagnosis to Direction” theme this year, KE highlights several families who are making lemonade from their often frustrating experiences with raising learning-challenged children. In the attempt to help other parents save time and personal energy, several metro Atlanta moms have started organizations that help disseminate and navigate the overwhelming amount of available information. One mom, Elaine Taylor Klaus, has started a family support coaching practice, which helps families work through the day-to-day challenges of homework, chores, time to recreate, and “me” time for parents. Our own Beth McGaw recounts her own experience of needing a ”clearing house” for vital information and therefore starting Kids Enabled magazine.

Part VI – ImpactADHD

by Elaine Taylor Klaus

ImpactADHD: A Business With a Calling!

For some parents whose children have learning differences, the direction for treatment is clear and the steps to completing therapy goals are distinct and systematic.

I envy those parents. That was not my experience as a young mother of a child with special needs. My journey was more like wandering through a maze, and if I could only get to its center I would find my child healthy and thriving. My sense of direction was vague, and I had no assurances that things would get better.

My daughter’s life was complicated from birth, and that was always my sense of “normal.” Many doctors and specialists consulted with me, each with a medical opinion, but never a clear direct, all-encompassing diagnosis. She was such an out-of-the-box kid that she didn’t even fit into the “special needs” box. I watched other parents struggling with special kids. It seemed their various learning challenges were identified, treated, and then resolved. For me, my daughter’s struggles seemed so complex. When I figured out one area, something new would emerge, i.e., reflux, allergies, social challenges.

I struggled with the various labels for my daughter’s challenges, as well as with the meanings and assumptions associated with them. I had a special needs child, but since no one could clearly articulate what exactly she needed, I had a difficult time embracing its truth. I fought it. I was in a shallow denial, pursuing therapies, special needs classes and consultations, all the while setting expectations of a typical life. I felt very isolated and alone.

Ten years of not really knowing and not really being okay with that finally shifted when I put my family on a gluten-free diet. My daughter’s anxieties began to lessen and my family’s world began to open up with possibilities. These positive changes made me realize just how lonely I had been while struggling to help my daughter! I felt that no one should have to experience these challenges alone as I had done.

From that point I knew I wanted to support parents faced with the same challenge of raising “complex” kids. I eventually discovered and became certified in “coaching,” a new social service that takes a “wellness” approach to family support. Coaching helps parents by providing

a positive healthy approach to managing their lives with special needs kids
a framework for decision-making that is personalized and effective
encouragement about trusting their instincts and taking the time to take care of themselves
support for maintaining relationships under stressful conditions
new communication skills that improves parenting skills

A few years into my coaching practice, I met another coach, Diane Dempster, who shared my commitment to supporting parents. After the 2010 CHADD conference in Atlanta, we decided we wanted to increase awareness around ADHD coaching as an effective vehicle for support and change. We started ImpactADHD and focused on the needs in the ADHD community, the dreams parents have for their children, and providing the support we wished we’d had as young parents facing the challenges of ADHD.

Because we’ve walked this road ourselves, we understand that parents need space, relief, confidence, education, support, encouragement, empowerment, decision-making strategies, knowledge, skills, and hope. In less than nine months we were launching a national program selected by CHADD as an Innovative Program for 2011!

At ImpactADHD we work with parents of kids with ADHD to help them feel more in control and develop confidence and strategies to create their ideal family life, whatever that means for them. In short, we want parents to rediscover the joy of parenting, and we do that by helping them enjoy the ride!