From an early age Morgan Plowman struggled at school with the challenges ADHD can bring, yet as a ninth grader she is confident and thriving. In 2010, she was honored by CHADD, the Learning Disabilities Association of Georgia, and Kids Enabled with the KIDS Gift Award (KIDS is an acronym for Kids who Individually Discovered Success). Morgan is a great example of a student who struggled with learning differences but developed into a successful and motivated student through self-advocacy and determination to learn.

I was in the audience when, in front of 365 people, fourteen-year-old Morgan walked to the podium, accepted her award, and took to the microphone. Everyone was moved by her words, poise, and grace as she thanked those who had helped her along the way. Though Morgan has struggled with issues of inattention, writing skills, auditory processing, and working memory, her great strengths include her verbal and social skills and her positive thinking. I learned later that Morgan had no idea she would be speaking and was completely unprepared. Among the members of that audience, only her mother knew.

First signs of concern

When she entered kindergarten, Morgan was very easily distracted and unable to rhyme words, something her classmates could do easily. In first grade, she was diagnosed with ADHD. “Everybody, even my pediatrician, kept telling me I was overthinking things and I wasn’t giving her enough time,” remembers her mother, Tina Plowman. “But I had had two other kids, and to me it was obvious that there was some kind of struggle going on that was not just normal slower learning. There were other things. Something wasn’t clicking. She could do complex things, but some of these basic things were just too much. I would do flashcards and everything you normally do with your kids to try to get them going. One day she could do it. The next day she couldn’t.” Morgan underwent comprehensive psychoeducational testing and began a trial of stimulant medication, but continued to fall further behind in school.

“In fourth grade it was getting really bad and I had to just demand that she get some help at school, but everyone kept telling me I was being too concerned,” Tina recalls. Another significant red flag worried her even more. “Morgan was a bubbly, outgoing child by nature. A friend of mine said to me one day, ‘You know if I didn’t know Morgan outside of school, I would never know that was the same child.’” The friend noticed that Morgan had become extremely quiet and withdrawn at school.

Morgan’s fear about not making friends at her new

school was for nothing. She has tons of new

friends and is a star athlete on the school swim

team. Her team members voted her female MVP.

Tina began volunteering in the classroom and met her daughter for lunch several times a week. “I wanted to see how things were going without making it too obvious,” she explains. “Morgan would hold my hand and walk real quietly and she would whisper. Totally not her personality!” Morgan was becoming completely overwhelmed with the school environment.

Morgan recalls feeling different and somewhat isolated as her struggles became more pronounced. “My first memory that things were different was when the teacher put headphones on me in the classroom. Also, things like having to go outside to a trailer classroom while my friends stayed in the regular class and missing game day reward for good behavior to go get extra help from the learning teacher,” she recalls. “Morgan’s learning disabilities were significant. The school finally did testing because I demanded it. I think they were glad we finally moved away,” Tina says with a chuckle. “I wasn’t ugly with the school, but Morgan continued to struggle and the solution they came up with was for me to take her to Sylvan Learning Center for two hours after school every day. Morgan was in class for eight hours a day. They would send home the work she couldn’t complete during the school day and then they were telling me to have her do two more hours after school of tutoring and then finish up that school work, too!” Though Tina was frustrated, she understood that the school had limitations in what they could provide. She doesn’t blame the teachers, but rather the system and the vast misunderstanding many have about learning disabilities. Morgan was frustrated, too. “I knew she was capable of learning, but personally I didn’t know how to help her,” says Tina. “When I would sit down and try to go over work with her, she would get so frustrated because it was so difficult for her to figure out what to do. I didn’t have the knowledge for how to teach her differently because what made sense to me, made no sense to her.”

The beginning of change

A job change led the family to relocate to a new city. After exploring school options, they enrolled Morgan in the Howard School, a private day school for children with learning disabilities.

During her four years at the Howard School—fifth through eighth grade—Morgan made a complete transformation. Her confidence grew and she began to feel she could succeed. Tina attributes the changes to smaller classes and a faculty that understood how Morgan needed to learn. Her teachers not only taught her skills, but also how to advocate for what she needed.

After eighth grade the family considered moving Morgan to a larger private school so she could begin to feel more comfortable in larger settings. “We tried to get her into a private school that had a lot of accommodations in place, but they took one look at her learning profile and testing and would not admit her,” recalls Tina. “She functions way higher than her paperwork looks.” Instead, Morgan began ninth grade at a nearby arts and sciences public magnet school. The transition was a scary one—from a ratio of two teachers to ten students at Howard to a school of eighteen hundred students.

“I’ve been stunned at watching her handle it,” shares Tina. “The first few days were very tough. Her biggest fear was not making friends and not being able to find her classes.” The first day of school was a major challenge, as the new computer system had malfunctioned and the class schedules were all incorrect. “We had already had her IEP meeting and she had her schedule of what she was supposed to be in under that IEP, and yet this new schedule had her in all the wrong classes,” recalls Tina. The school said it could take five days to straighten out and suggested that Morgan go to the classes on the current schedule—which had her in several advanced science classes and Chinese—and switch it later. Absolutely not, thought Tina.

“I told Morgan I would meet her there as soon as I could get there,” recalls Tina, who first had to drive her younger son to his new school. “I said, ‘Go to the guidance office and you tell them you have an IEP and that they have to fix your schedule because it is not right.’”

When Tina arrived, the guidance office was very crowded, but Morgan was at the head of the line. “She was not intimidated at all. I think now she has learned—and this is what she learned about herself at the Howard School— ‘I am not damaged goods because I have these learning disabilities,’ which is what she felt like before,” explains Tina. “Now she [tells herself], ‘Well, I have to figure out how to do it a different way and there is nothing wrong with that.’”

A positive role model

Morgan’s fear about not making friends at her new school was for nothing. She has tons of new friends and is a star athlete on the school swim team. Her team members voted her female MVP. She is in regular curriculum classes with accommodations and special services like team teaching with a support teacher, use of a MacBook, and a study skills class that includes a study hall so she can get work done at school. Her classes have websites with homework assignments, study sheets, and other relevant class information. Her IEP is being successfully implemented.

“Before, Morgan would get so overwhelmed. She wouldn’t know where to start with her school work. It was such a struggle. She would just shut down and not even try,” remembers Tina. “Now she sees the challenges and she says, ‘Let’s see how I’m going to attack it.’”

Morgan’s peers even come to her for support when they are having difficulties at school. “I think that she likes that she can help other people. She knows how bad it feels to feel like sort of a loser kid or have that feeling. And she just doesn’t want other kids to feel like that because it is just not fun,” says Tina. “She’s learned how to be very accepting of people where they are no matter what their issues and needs are.”

Morgan has used that empathy to help others understand differences. When she sees someone being teased because he or she is different, Morgan speaks up. She tells others not to make fun and shares openly about her own learning disabilities.

Asking for what you need

Some areas continue to present day-to-day challenges. “Sometimes I will react stronger than I should to small things,” Morgan shares, “but I have medicine to help me with that so it is only harder for me when I don’t take it— which I don’t always like to do, especially on weekends because I feel like I don’t need it, but I know it helps me and I need it for school to stay focused and calm.”

As her confidence has grown, she has learned that asking questions is a good thing and encourages her peers to do the same. “It has helped me to know that if you have a question, ask it and don’t feel stupid because Einstein said ‘No question is dumb.’ And I guarantee you that other people may have the same question, but just don’t want to ask so as not to feel or look dumb,” says Morgan. “I know I can always go to my teachers and guidance counselor or my case manager for help if I need it. I know if I am not getting what I need to tell people and fight for what I know I have rights to get for my learning.”

Self-advocacy is a skill of tremendous importance for teens with ADHD, and Morgan learned it at a young age from her mother. “I am the oldest of seven kids,” explains Tina. “You had to ask for what you needed.” Tina lost her own mother when she was young, which affected her thoughts on parenting. “I might not be here tomorrow. My kids need to know how to survive because no one is going to do it for you. You have to figure it out and life isn’t always fair.”

A hopeful message for others

Knowing she is not alone in her learning disabilities and that they don’t define her has helped Morgan. “At the Howard School they helped me to be open to how I learned and helped me realize the things I needed to do to learn better. This really gave me the confidence I needed to go to the school I am at now, public school again,” she shares. “One of my new friends at North Springs came up to me and asked me what was wrong with me, like why was I in team-taught classes, and I told her I have ADD and auditory processing disorder. She was so happy to hear that and I just made her day—because she was not the only one at school with learning disabilities. She also liked that I seemed very socially normal and not like I have a learning issue. I told her we are not different and that everyone learns in their own way. We just have a little harder time than others, but nothing is wrong with us. She said she couldn’t wait to go home to tell her mom she met me and that she was so happy to have met me!”

When asked her advice for kids with ADHD, Morgan replies, “I would tell them not to be ashamed of who they are or how they learn, but it is not going to be easy. It is hard work. I have come a long way to get to where I am. It was years of hard work, but I am so happy I got here and am still working to get even higher. I have developed the main thing a person needs for success, which is confidence and good role models and good people in my life to give me help. You need people to encourage you to do your best.”

Morgan emphasizes that you cannot give up when things get hard, but instead you have to push yourself through. “Have confidence in yourself and believe you can succeed and ask questions and go get help if you need it,” she encourages. “Good teachers and school and friends who help you gain confidence and our parents help and family support and a good home to come home to. I believe in every kid out there who is struggling that they can succeed and I pray for parents and teachers to open their eyes to help kids who need it. It cannot be done alone. It is a group effort to help kids gain confidence.”

Though Morgan has come a long way, she stresses that it is an ongoing process and that she continues to deal with setbacks. The main difference is that now she is better able to stop, regroup, and brainstorm with her family and teachers to find new solutions. Her confidence, hopefulness, and optimism are contagious. It has been a long, bumpy road, a team effort that began with a mother’s strong advocacy, unconditional love, and neverending belief in her daughter. “Morgan really does know herself very well,” adds Tina. “And she laughs when she realizes I know her very well, too!”

Keath Low, MA, is the ADHD Guide for About.com.

This article originally appeared in the August 2011 issue of Attention magazine, copyright 2011 by Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD). For more information, visit www.chadd.org. Used by permission from CHADD.

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A Student’s Journey with ADHD

Taylor’s positive attitude about his learning differences has enabled him to excel. He wants other kids to know that “The most important thing to remember is that this is just about the way you learn. You still learn, and you are just as smart and capable as everyone else, plus you will find that you have a lot more common sense and problem-solving abilities than most people.”

   Kids Enabled presents Taylor’s success story:

Kids Enabled: What were your biggest struggles growing up? What were your toughest challenges in the classroom?
Taylor Heffner: My biggest struggle inside and outside of the classroom is understanding what is being explained or taught. I have come to understand that with some things, I need a great deal of repetition in order to fully grasp a concept. So I may have to ask for multiple explanations so that I can hear them in different terms and make practical connections. Because I didn’t want to feel different from my peers, who understood on the first go round, it took a while to become comfortable and realize that it is ok to ask questions.

KE: How old were you when you were diagnosed with a learning difference? What is your earliest memory of struggling in school?
TH: When I was in kindergarten my mom realized that I was learning at a different pace than my classmates, but the teacher reassured her that with time, I would catch up. She didn’t feel comfortable with this response and started some research on her own.

Looking back I can say my earliest memory of struggling with school came during the first months of first grade. I hated going to school. I would wake up during the middle of the night on school nights not feeling well and crying not to have to go school. I couldn’t really articulate what was going on, but I knew I hated it. Luckily, I had a very caring speech teacher who had seen and heard the way my teacher interacted with me and alerted my mom, who immediately met with the principal and pulled me out of public school. I went back to kindergarten at our church preschool and kindergarten where my mom was the director. I loved it there and started to enjoy school again. This gave mom a chance to continue researching learning differences and to find a school that would better fit my needs.

KE: How did your challenges change as you progressed through elementary, middle school, and high school?
TH: The following year I started school at Mt. Carmel Christian School. They had small class sizes, caring teachers and their philosophy was that we are all unique gifts of God. There I could continue to learn in a safe environment. Even though they did not have a specific program for students with learning differences, they did offer extra help for students that needed it. After much research Mom felt like I was probably dyslexic and found the Schenck School, who after testing confirmed the diagnosis. That was in second grade. I tutored there two times a week for a couple of years and stayed at Mt. Carmel through fourth grade.

It was such a struggle to keep up academically. I would come home from school and work on homework and study for tests for hours each day. I did well but it was incredibly hard, time consuming and frustrating. Mom realized I needed more specialized help where I could learn about how I learn so that I would be successful in the future. Luckily, we found The Howard School.

KE: Were there any particular interventions or teaching methods that helped you make gains academically?
TH: At The Howard School, teachers utilized different teaching methods to accommodate different learning styles. They taught me how I learn best. I learned that the more I can use my senses, the easier it is the comprehend things. I record my classes on my computer as I take notes so that I can go back and listen as I read. I also found that I retain more if I physically manipulate the material around, so I will print my information and move it, matching things up. When I was in elementary school I would practice spelling using shaving cream on the shower door or in a sand table. It was fun and actually let me touch what I was doing.

KE: Did your struggles ever cause your self-esteem to suffer?
TH: I think the only time my self esteem suffered was during those first few months of first grade. I was fortunate that my parents supported and encouraged me, and that they put me in schools that were good fits and helped me. My parents have also encouraged me to try new activities, exposing me to a lot of different things, so that I could find where my gifts are talents are.

KE: Do you feel prepared to go to college?
TH: I just graduated from high school and feel totally prepared for college. I know that it will be a huge transition in terms of expectations, work load, and being away from home, but I feel I have all the necessary skills to make it work. I understand that I will have to study harder than most of my peers and continue to find ways to make difficult classes more understandable. I have learned that perseverance pays off. I have learned that most worthwhile things in life do not come easy; you have to work at them. Because of Howard I have the confidence to advocate for myself and understand how important it is to do that.

KE: What advice would you give to parents of children who struggle with learning challenges?
TH: Advice that I would give to parents; love, support and encourage your child. He or she learns differently, but they still learn. It will take patience; you will often need to repeat steps in many different ways and you will need to be their advocate until they learn to advocate for themselves. It can be tough on your child’s heart and mind realizing that he is different from his friends, that things don’t come as easily. I also realize from my parents that it is hard on them, too. They have hopes and dreams for us. Together we can make those dreams come true; we will just go down a different path to get there.

KE: What advice would you give a child who is struggling in school?
TH: To a child struggling in school, who may be going through the diagnoses process or is newly diagnosed, I would tell him that it is not the end of the world; actually, it is a new beginning to learn how you learn. There are many successful people out there who have learning differences and you will be one of them too. The most important thing to remember is that this is just about the way you learn. You still learn, and you are just as smart and capable as everyone else, plus you will find that you have a lot more common sense and problem-solving abilities than most people.

• It is important to build strong relationships at school with your teachers. They want you to succeed and will help you to figure out how to do just that, if you show them that you are willing to work hard.
• Perseverance is a word that you will learn, and it will stick with you all of your life. Sometimes you will find that no matter how hard you study and prepare for a class, you just don’t get the results you wanted, but the ability to shrug it off and keep going despite the challenges will take you far in everything you do.
• Also, there are many assistive technology resources available now to help you with school work like computers and special software programs.
• Another valuable resource is your parents. I have been lucky to have extremely supportive parents to help, encourage, and guide me through the years. Parents are always on your side, and remember, they know you better than anyone. They can help you learn different ways to study. For me, the more hands on the better.

Remember, each of us is a unique gift from God. You have many talents; push yourself, even if it takes you out of your comfort zone to find them. You will have a successful and fulfilling life.

KE: Is there anything that you would do differently or think should have been done differently for you during your childhood education?
TH: As far as anything being done differently during my earlier education… I wish that all teachers understood that students don’t all fit the same mold, but that we have the desire and right to learn in a safe environment. I also wish that all teachers had the resources, knowledge, and desire to learn how to make a difference in our lives.

KE: How do you define success at this point in your life?
TH: Success at this point in my life means being happy, healthy, being loved and loving back, sharing my talents with others and on my way to a positive college experience!

The RISE Scholarship Foundation, Inc. has a mission to recognize and reward students with learning disabilities, who have overcome learning challenges, achieved academic success in their formative school years and will continue their educational journey by pursuing an undergraduate degree at a college or university. For more information about RISE Scholarship Foundation, Inc. please visit risescholarshipfoundation.org.

Post from: Kids Enabled

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Success Story: Taylor Heffner

It is hard to navigate the world of supplements, so it is wise to turn to the experts for advice about which supplements are the most appropriate for certain conditions. Tanner Geng’s mom Lisa, with the help of Lauren Zimet, MS, CCC/SLP, saw a significant improvement in Tanner’s speech skills (he has apraxia of speech) after he began taking fish oil supplements. Lisa says, “Lauren is the one professional that witnessed the earlier dramatic surges when we started him on fish oils. So, Tanner really has responded well to essential nutrients. We always fed him very healthy – as organic as possible – but it’s not always what we eat, but what we digest and utilize.”

Join Kids Enabled as we hear of Tanner’s journey from his point of view:

Kids Enabled: What were your biggest struggles growing up? What were your toughest challenges in the classroom?
Tanner Geng: My biggest struggle was not being able to pronounce the words correctly or people couldn’t understand what I was saying if I was talking to them. In the classroom if I was asked to read something and I got stuck on a word, and I knew it the word, but I just couldn’t get it out, someone in the class would shout it out for me, which frustrated me because I knew the word. I just couldn’t say it, and they would think they were helping me because they thought I didn’t know it.

KE: What is your earliest memory of struggling in school?
TG: I don’t remember having any issues outside of reading which was in 6th grade. Reading was hard for me because, even though I knew the words, they wouldn’t come out of my mouth. I always liked to write stories and poems. My brain developed after I started taking Nutriiveda last year and I got more creative in writing my stories. I like to share the stories I write. Last year I was given more time to write, but I wasn’t into reading. I only read what I had to read. This year in junior high school I haven’t had as much time to write, but I’ve been reading more because I enjoy it. Right now I’m reading Lord of the Flies with my class. I am going to be in honors classes for high school, and my mom is really impressed especially that my teacher this year recommended me for honors English.

KE: Did your struggles ever cause your self-esteem to suffer?
TG: Sometimes I feel bad about myself because I get made fun of if I talk funny, but mainly it’s people I don’t know that would tease me, not kids that I went to school with. But, since my speech has gotten better this year, nobody even notices I have a speech problem anymore. I have lots of friends and nobody really has cared about my speech, even when I did have problems speaking.

KE: What advice would you give to parents of children who struggle with learning challenges?
TG: My advice to parents of kids who have speech problems is to be in classes with the rest of the kids in school to learn everything they learn. Although I used to not be able to speak, I still knew how to learn. My other advice is to give kids fish oils and Nutriiveda because it helps with motor planning and of course speech. It also helps with physical stuff like helping me be more coordinated.

KE: How do you define success at this point in your life?
TG: Success to me is becoming a special education lawyer to help other kids in the country who have speech and other problems and helping them get into better schools and fight for what is right for them.

From Lisa Geng:

Another Tanner update…this is just amazing! Today Tanner and I met with the guidance councilor for 9th grade; next year he will be going to high school. I knew that he was going to talk to Tanner, not me, but I was there to back him up just in case.

The first question the counselor asked was, “What do you want to do after high school?” and Tanner responded with no hesitation “I want to be a lawyer.” He wants to be a special education attorney. The questions and answers continued smoothly. Tanner was having no issues saying what classes he wanted or didn’t want, and he didn’t choose any “easy” electives either! Tanner was recommended for honors classes by his current teacher.

He currently plays varsity basketball and football and will probably continue in sports. Tanner just asked me if he can volunteer at an animal shelter over the summer. He said, “Mom, I just want to make those animals happy that have to be there.”

Tanner is fully mainstreamed and a great student, typically an A student. In the past, I had to do homework with him. I know there are others of you out there with older apraxic children that know exactly what I am talking about; reading and writing is like pulling teeth.

Since starting on the food supplement Nutriiveda (NV), Tanner is completely independent in his studies and is excelling independently; he doesn’t need my help anymore. This is far better than excelling with me for many reasons of course!

Prior to this year, if someone had asked him the question his counselor was asking today, i.e., questions about his future, college, choices of classes, etc., his standard response would have been: 1) look at me to help him answer and 2) say “I don’t know” (even if he did know but he wouldn’t want to explain) and then look at me to help him answer.

Not bad for a kid who, according to his kindergarten teachers, “wouldn’t make it in a mainstream kindergarten class and needed to be in a self-contained learning disabled class.”

Tanner was fully included for kindergarten because I really advocated for him. He not only “made it” in an inclusion class, he was one of the top students. I did follow my own advice and didn’t start him in kindergarten until age 6 years for that extra year of therapy and developmental time.

I credit therapy for so much. Tanner has done a lifetime of therapy in the past 10 years, both traditional and alternative with a focus on speech, but I also know that therapy doesn’t work as well if a child doesn’t get the essential nutrients.

Lisa Geng
President CHERAB Foundation
Communication Help, Education, Research, Apraxia Base

cherab.org/
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cherab.org/information/dietaryeffects/LCPbook.html
apraxia.org/
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“Help give our cherubs a smile and a voice”

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From Struggles with Apraxia to Honors English

Kids Enabled: What were your biggest struggles growing up? What were your toughest challenges in the classroom?
Bart Adams: My biggest struggle growing up was that I was always doing class work and homework. When I was in class, I was always behind everyone else — about three blackboard panels behind. Teachers would write on the board and ask me if I was done with the first one so they could erase it and put number four up. That got really old.

It was the same thing at night; other kids would be out playing and I’d be inside doing homework. Someone in my family would always be helping me; they took turns. We’d break for dinner, and then I’d work at homework again until it got done. The only social times I had were on weekends when I only had one night’s worth of homework and could actually relax a bit. That didn’t do much for my social skills.

KE: How old were you when you were diagnosed with a learning difference? What is your earliest memory of struggling in school?
BA: I remember struggling with homework as early as second grade. I was actually diagnosed right around then since that is when it became apparent that I was having a hard time producing written output. I remember when I actually finished my homework by 7:00 pm, and I was so excited I shared that with my teacher the next day. Her response was, “Yes; and so?” And I’d been so excited. The work wasn’t difficult intellectually. I got really good grades; it just took me forever to get there.

KE: Were there any particular interventions or teaching methods that helped you make gains academically?
BA: Things got better when I inherited my older brother’s laptop. I got so that I could pretty much keep up because I can type much faster than I can write. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the laptop until sixth grade. I was still slower than other students when I was doing handwritten work. When I went to boarding school, we had designated study hall times, and I’d get my work done in those study halls. We were always told we’d be expected to put in more work in the evening, but my foreign language classes were the only ones that I had to work on in the evenings at that point.

KE: Did your struggles ever cause your self-esteem to suffer?
BA: In struggling with my ADD and other issues, my self-esteem definitely suffered. For one thing, I was left out. While other kids were playing, I was doing homework. I felt bad; I knew I was smart, but if I was smart, why was I having such trouble doing work that everyone else did easily? The need to stick with school work until it was done also did not help me learn social skills or how to get along with others.

KE: Did you feel prepared to go to college after graduating from high school?
BA: I felt prepared for college after my boarding school experience. I learned to make my own decisions since I didn’t have my family close by. The only problem I had originally was that I had to contact Academic Resources and tell strangers all about myself, share confidential information about testing, and trust them to use that information positively. Once I conquered that hurdle (which was mostly in my own mind) I didn’t have any problems. I could tell some of my professors didn’t like having to let me have extra time for tests, but when it’s documented that I need that particular accommodation, they didn’t have any choice.

KE: What advice would you give a child who is struggling in school?
BA: My advice for a child struggling in school is to use any accommodations for which they’re eligible – and to use a laptop. If you’re having trouble, don’t be afraid to talk to someone and ask if you might have a learning difference. Learning differences are not necessarily bad; they’re different and they do provide advantages sometimes. They may cause you to be less efficient at some things, but you’ll find methods that will allow you to make up for that difference. Medication may help; getting extra time allocated may help; finding a different way to take notes (typing as opposed to writing) may help. It’s the same as wearing glasses if your vision isn’t 20/20. Don’t be afraid of using tools that you need to get your work done.

A Mom’s Perspective

I think Bart’s biggest struggles growing up were learning how to integrate his social ineptitude with the cruelty of classmates. Most times, I believe that their remarks were unintentionally cruel, but cruel nonetheless. He knew he was “odd man out” and wanted so desperately to “belong.” Bart is very intelligent, and knew that he wasn’t most kids’ favorite playmate, but he couldn’t understand why.

I knew that Bart was different very early. He was third of three boys and I took him repeatedly to our pediatrician who kept telling me to quit comparing my boys. He was actually diagnosed with ADD at about age seven; by then, it was a relief to have something to point to as to why he was “different.”

Bart went to a small, private school until eighth grade. At that point, with the help of some awesome counselors and a marvelous educational consultant, we (my husband, Bart, and I) made the difficult decision to send Bart away to a specialized boarding school. I literally beat the bushes to try to find a place near Atlanta for Bart, but the only places that we could find that dealt with the kinds of learning differences he had were in the Northeast.

Bart ended up going to boarding school for the four years of high school. I told him often that we had planted lots of seeds, but that those seeds needed to get to just the right environment to flourish. And, flourish is just what he did. His school focused on three areas: academics, athletics and accountability. Every time we visited him, we could see changes in self-confidence levels and social skills. His teacher reports/comments became consistently good.

Bart became a student leader. He took up mountain biking, skiing and canoeing (which worked better for him than team sports) and found he loved physical exertion and that having a physical outlet helped him to do better academically and socially. He became the school store manager and handled ordering, inventory, cash flow and sales. This from my son, who at one point carried a “morning” knapsack and an “afternoon” knapsack because he couldn’t handle getting the right books for the right classes from his locker within the two minute limit!

After his sophomore year, we considered him returning home to Atlanta to finish high school. After a long time of considering and weighing pros and cons, Bart chose to finish high school at his boarding school. Our family missed a lot of things that I’d like to have been a part of during those four years, but the man he is today is directly attributable to the experiences that he was able to have in boarding school. We were lucky to be able to find that solution, and to be able to afford it for our son. We considered the monies spent to be an investment in his life – and what better place to invest one’s money?

We then chose a small college for Bart; one that had a reputation for caring for its students personally, as well as academically. He did well in college, graduating with a bachelor’s and master’s in mechanical engineering with an emphasis in mechanism design within the normal time frame. He currently works for an engineering firm designing underwater robotic devices.

Bart is our success story.

Post from: Kids Enabled

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Learning Differences at Boarding School: One Family’s Perspective

Kids Enabled: What were your biggest struggles growing up? What were your toughest challenges in the classroom?

Mark Hall: The hardest thing for me was that I always finished after everyone else. It seemed like everyone else figured it out and were moving on. I found that I was way behind the herd, a lot. I didn’t know what to do. When you are a kid you don’t want to stick out, so I didn’t ask for help. I would just settle back into the room and just sort of fake it. I would just get by as best
I could.

Background noise is a real problem for me, even now. If you are trying to teach me something and someone behind me is talking, I hear them as loud as I hear you. I have a hard time trying to tear away from the people behind to hear what you’re saying. There are so many dynamics going on in a room, 30-40 kids in a room and the teacher way up front doing his thing.

Dyslexia and ADD don’t work very well together. Dyslexia means you don’t read well and ADD means that, even if you could read well, you weren’t paying attention. I would get distracted so I would check out, especially if there was a window.

KE: How old were you when you were diagnosed with a learning difference? What is your earliest memory of struggling in school?
MH: It was in the third or fourth grade that my learning issues became evident, the fact that I was working so much slower than everyone else. Around that time, I was tested for learning differences but I was too young to understand what was going on. I remember listening outside of the counselor’s office to this lady telling Mom that I wasn’t keeping up. She said they needed to put me in “something different” but it didn’t really register to me what she meant.

The school where I went called this “something different” an LD program (which was a great little egobooster for a third-grader). I didn’t know I had dyslexia. In that day, they just called you LD and stuck you in this other class to learn English and math. You didn’t know what the problem was and it took me a few years to realize that it wasn’t a good thing.

My mom never really “went there” and I used to question that. But now, parents will come up to me with their kid and say, “This is Billy. He is OCD/LD/ ADD….” And I’m like, “No, I believe he is just Billy.” My mom never made LD who I was; LD was where I went to a class. We didn’t discuss LD class, we discussed school in general and what I needed to be working on. I don’t think it was some great vision my parents had, I think they are just like us, figuring it out as they went along. And at the time, they didn’t have anyone to talk to, they didn’t have this network. It was all just a hush, hush thing – your kid is not keeping up, better keep quiet.

KE: How did your challenges change as you progressed through elementary, middle school, high school and college?
MH: It was probably sixth or seventh grade when I realized, “This is different.” They are talking down to me in the class. A reading disorder doesn’t mean you don’t get it; it means that you get it in a different way. I started not liking the class and I was realizing what it was about. I would go hang out with my friends and they would be talking about the LD kids.

The social part was the tough part. When I got into high school, in 11th grade, I was so sick of having to hide from everybody about being in these classes. I went to my parents and told them how I felt – the classes were too easy, I was tired of being talked down to and I wanted to go back into mainstream classes. I don’t know how they did it but they got me back into regular classes. I scratched and tore my way through it. In every class, my passing relied on what I scored on the final exam. It was really, really tough. As far as math goes, I never took anything beyond business math, no algebra or anything with formulas. If you teach me a formula, I got it but when you teach me another one, the first formula is gone.

KE: Did your struggles ever cause your self-esteem to suffer?
MH: I kept it a secret – that I was in “those” classes. Even to this day, I get e-mails from some of my closest friends from school and they never knew I was in “those” classes. To me, it was a source of shame. I spent a lot of energy making sure none of my friends knew my schedule. I would show up at my class late, it was at the end of the hall and if you turned right you were in “those” classes. So, I would always turn left and just get lost. I was kept small; I was a tiny person because of my shame.

When you are in school, being different is everything. When you are out of school you realize that a learning difference only affects you in school. School only taught one way – memorization and regurgitation. It wasn’t set up for me. When you get out into the real world, you start being a dad, you start doing your calling, you start living your life, you start doing things your own way.

To me, it has been a gift, more than anything else. I can see that now.

KE: Did you feel prepared to go to college after graduating from high school?
MH: I wasn’t ready for it. I kind of had to start over in college and scratch and tear my through that as well. I was going the art route. I drew. That’s what I did well. I am all right-brained. When I felt the call into ministry, I decided on music.

I went to the Baptist College of Florida. There was an adjunct English professor named Bruce White. He had us do creative writing and I hadn’t ever really done that before because it was something I figured I just couldn’t do. When he read my first paper, he called me aside and said, “You’re dyslexic, aren’t you?” And I said, “No. I don’t know what you are talking about.” He went through a whole list of dyslexic traits and I saw that he was describing me. Then I went to a psychology class and we were discussing signs of ADD, and it was basically my resume of life.

I called my mom and she confirmed what I was beginning to see as my diagnosis. I know that God uses what and who you are and I am thankful. As an “art guy,” I realized that I could draw pictures with words. I could write even though I never thought so before. So, Bruce White is the guy who encouraged me to write and I saw that I liked doing it. About that time I started singing songs I made up in my head, sort of out of the blue. Then things started changing.

KE: What advice would you give to parents of children who struggle with learning challenges?
MH: I think it is a good thing to identify what the challenges are, but I think how we identify is very important. I think children need to understand that it is a difference. There needs to be an emphasis on the gifts and strengths of a child’s particular learning difference. For someone with dyslexia these gifts are being a big thinker and multi-tasker, and the ability to think outside the box. I think identifying early on is hugely important. While teaching a child about his issues, the challenges and the strengths, it is important to stress that this is not a crutch to lean on. This is where it is unhealthy, when the child pulls back and doesn’t try because he has an excuse.

You must first learn how your child learns, find his learning language and speak it. Meet him there. Many parents teach the way they like to be taught, but your child may have a different style of learning. You will get frustrated because they don’t understand how you are teaching. It is imperative to teach in their learning language, whether it is auditory, visual or kinesthetic. Home schooling is a wonderful approach to teaching a child with a learning difference. If you can’t home school, make sure his school understands how he learns.

KE: What advice would you give a child who is struggling in school?
MH: Learn who you are and how you learn. You need to understand yourself and not count on the school counselor to know you better.

KE: How do you define success at this point in your life?
MH: Success is blooming where you are planted, using the gifts God has given you. My purpose in life is not to be a youth leader or to be a singer, that is just the journey I am going on. You have to know that your purpose in life is more than what you are doing.

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Mark Hall’s Song of Success

“I feel incredibly gratified when I’m able to work on something that I’m passionate about and then have it recognized by others as being a worthwhile effort.”

Kids Enabled: What were your biggest struggles growing up? What were your toughest challenges in the classroom?
Jenny Hamm: The toughest challenges were social. I wasn’t active in sports, and though I was friendly and out-going once I got to know someone, I was an introvert. I don’t feel comfortable with large groups of strangers, and I felt that everyone was laughing at me. Of course they weren’t, but I had to become more confi dent and forgiving of my own fl aws before I could see that. Much of that insecurity was related to how hard it was for me to keep up with the rest of my classmates. Now I can see that when I started to feel more confi dent as a student, I felt more secure in my social interactions.

KE: How old were you when you were diagnosed with a learning disability? What is your earliest memory of
struggling in school?
JE: I was 8 years old when I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. I have always had a tendency to live in my own little world. As it became increasingly difficult to follow along in class, I began to lose larger tracts of time to my own imagination. I remember sitting in my reading group and was called on to read a sentence about a man with a green hat. I was 7 years old and felt humiliated at how difficult it was to flounder through that sentence in front of my classmates. The teacher had gone over the sentence, but I’d been lost in my daydream and wasn’t paying attention. These “spells” of lost time became so bad that my parents had me tested for petit mal seizures. The tests came back negative, of course. If someone had just
asked me, I would have said I was bored and daydreaming. I didn’t understand then that not being able to stop daydreaming was anything unusual.

KE: How did your challenges change as you progressed through elementary, middle school and high school?
JH: Before I was diagnosed with learning differences, I considered myself to be something of a math person since my reading and writing skills were miserable. When my parents enrolled me in a small private school for kids with learning differences, I realized school didn’t have to be the scourge of my life. My understanding of my challenges began to shift. Reading and writing became the overwhelming loves of my academic life, while math and sciences became increasingly frustrating and mysterious. I understand now that this shift happened because my particular learning difference made (and still makes) it difficult for me to keep track of details. Focus was, and always will be, a problem for me. I either focused too much or not enough. It took me hours to get homework assignments done, because I worried over getting every single little thing right. I kept getting distracted and had to drag myself back on task. Medication helped my concentration immensely. Although my grades were usually A’s and B’s, it took me forever to get anything done. I have still not mastered time management skills. That’s OK though, because life is a work in progress.

KE: Were there any particular interventions or teaching methods that helped you make gains academically?
JH: Yes! Medication made a huge difference in my ability to concentrate and comprehend. It frustrates me that there’s a stigma attached to medication. Taking a medication to help you concentrate isn’t cheating or a crutch. It does not change who you are as a person. I don’t take medication anymore, and I’m the same person now as I was in school. Medication, when appropriate, is a tool that removes obstacles so that children can become who they are on the inside.

I was fortunate to go to a small and specialized private school where I was exposed to different ways of learning. I can’t say enough how helpful it was to have more one-on-one time with my teachers. When I didn’t understand something, the teacher had time to explain things in greater detail or in a new way entirely. Tutoring is also a great option; it relieves academic pressure if you have someone outside of class who can help.

For kids with ADD, keeping a high level of interest is key. When I was 8, I could barely read, but I found a magazine that really interested me. The articles were short, funny and came with lots of comic strips and visual aids. I made the greatest strides when I really pushed myself to read something  I enjoyed. The man with the green hat was boring, but the adventures of superheroes and weird little bits of trivia were worth the effort. By the time I was 9, I was reading at high school level. Find things that your kids are interested in and try to integrate that into their learning experience; making learning active and interactive really makes a difference.

Lastly, being a constant and positive presence for your kids will make the difference. Our parents really devoted themselves to being there for us, whether it was just to listen to us vent or to help us with our work. My brother and I, both, were really lucky that our parents understood the difference between pressuring us and encouraging us to succeed. They always reminded us that it was OK to fail as long as we were trying; it wasn’t ok not to try.

KE: Did your struggles ever cause your self-esteem to suffer?
JH: Of course. I think that’s natural. I felt insecure for years; I still do, but to a much lesser degree. At first, my self-esteem issues sprang from my academic struggles, and then later, from the fact that I was overweight and terrible at sports. Now I just have a better understanding of how to put my insecurities into perspective. The key is to find the things that you excel at and celebrate them. Then use those talents to find ways to succeed in the areas where you struggle.

KE: Did you feel prepared to go to college after graduating from high school?
JH: Yes and no. I knew I was educated enough for college, but I had also gotten a lot of one-on-one help at small schools. I knew college wasn’t going to be like that. Fortunately, by the time I enrolled in college, there were programs and policies in place to help students who needed accommodations. I applied for accommodation privileges every semester. I found that I rarely had to use those accommodations, but I made them available to myself. I think that’s how I felt the most prepared. I had learned how to stand up for myself, and find the resources I needed for success.

KE: What advice would you give to parents of children who struggle with learning challenges?
JH: Do some research and learn the nuances of your child’s learning differences. Find ways to engage your kid’s interest. Get creative with your approaches and think outside the box. Your kids are already thinking outside the box, so you might as well join them. Encourage your kids and stick with them, but don’t pressure them. They feel enough pressure from themselves. Don’t be afraid to consider medication. Seek tutoring.

Try to think of your child’s learning differences as a gift. They see the world in a completely different way from everyone else. I always joke that it’s an interesting place inside my head, but the truth is…it is. Some of the most creative, interesting, and intelligent people that I know are people with ADD, ADHD, Tourette’s syndrome and dyslexia. They’re all people who’ve grown up to have good lives and good jobs because they had the support of their families at home.

KE: What advice would you give a child who is struggling in school?
JH: Tell people when something isn’t working for you. Whether it’s the way your teacher is explaining things, or your meds, or the people you have to sit with, it’s not going to get any better until you say something. Don’t give up when something doesn’t work on the first or second try. You get to see things in a way most other people never do. Use that to your advantage and find a different angle from which to approach your problem. Find what you like and use that as your “in” whenever possible. Don’t feel bad about getting up and walking away from a problem for a few minutes if you feel like your head is about to explode. Find someone who will listen and talk about how you feel.

KE: Is there anything that you would do differently or think should have been done differently for you during your childhood education?
JH: I guess if I were going to really search for something to change, it would have been in the way I approached things in school. I think that after feeling like I was so inept when I was young, I became kind of addicted to doing things “perfectly.” It wasn’t really until I reached college that I figured out that it didn’t have to be all about grades all the time. It didn’t necessarily matter whether I had tested well, as long as I learned something.

KE: How do you define success at this point in your life?
JH: For myself, I define success as completing something that I didn’t think I had the ability to do, no matter how trivial it may seem. Anytime I finish something that I start, I count it as a win. I feel incredibly gratified when I’m able to work on something that I’m passionate about and then have it recognized by others as being a worthwhile effort. I suppose that’s why, when I look around at my friends and try to define their success, it’s not necessarily by how much they have, but instead by how happy they seem. When I look at myself and my friends, I don’t define our successes by how “good” our jobs are, or how much we make, but whether we’re doing something that makes us happy, or at the very least, proud and content.

Jenny Hamm, 25, is a recent graduate of the University of North Carolina at Wilmington where she earned a degree in creative writing. While attending UNCW, a piece of her work was published in a school sponsored anthology celebrating the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. She also won a city-wide poetry slam. Jenny is returning to school to improve her computer skills and hopes to earn her master’s degree in creative writing in the next year or two.

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The Gift of Success

KE: What were your biggest struggles growing up? What were your toughest challenges in the classroom?
BC: My biggest struggle growing up was the ignorance I ran into as I tried to educate others about Tourette’s Syndrome (TS). TS is a neurological disorder which causes people to make uncontrollable and involuntary noises and tics. My toughest challenges were always in the classroom. Teachers were quick to judge and thought I needed to learn like everyone else or it wouldn’t be fair. The fact was that TS did make me different, and I needed to learn in a different way than the “normal” child. It was important for me to take tests in different locations, break up long assignments, and have someone review my notes with me prior to being assessed. Teachers thought I was a behavior problem and often gave up on me because I was too difficult to handle. They saw me as the problem child. They only focused on my weaknesses and never my strengths. I just wanted to be treated like everyone else.

KE: How old were you when you were diagnosed with a learning disability? What is your earliest memory of struggling in school?
BC: I was diagnosed with TS around fifth grade. I remember my fifth grade teacher making me stand up in front of the class and apologize to everyone for making my noises. And as I sat down, my teacher made me get back up in front of the class and tell them it would never happen again. Of course, my noises and tics continued and I was sent to the principal’s office.

KE: How did your challenges change as you progressed through elementary, middle school and high school?
BC: One day my principal in middle school asked me to educate the students about TS. So, I got up in front of the students and educated everyone. After this speech, my life was changed forever as I realized the power of education. From that day forward I knew I wanted to be the teacher I never had. I continued to educate people on the first day of class and whenever someone wanted to learn more about me.

KE: Were there any particular interventions or teaching methods that helped you make gains academically?
BC: Once teachers understood my condition, they stopped kicking me out of class and getting me into trouble. I was finally able to focus on academics, and my grades started to go up. I was given additional time for tests, I got to use a separate area to do my work, and I was motivated to show people I could do things just as well as the next person.

KE: Did your struggles ever cause your self-esteem to suffer?
BC: Of course. It is never easy when someone is struggling. I used to eat lunch alone everyday because I had no friends. But at the same time, I believe it helped my self –esteem go up as I was more determined than ever to prove to others that I was still capable of doing the same work as everyone else. I set high expectations so I would never use my own disability as an excuse.

KE: Can you describe your social struggles in more detail and tell us what you think was at the root of those difficulties?
BC: Other kids didn’t want to be friends with me because I was the noise maker. I was often seated in the back corner of the room. Who wanted to be friends with that kid? Since the teachers never respected me, why should the kids? But once I was able to educate others, people were able to look past my tics on the outside and get to know me more for who I was on the inside.

KE: Did you feel prepared to go to college after graduating from high school?
BC: Absolutely! I was ready and I wanted to try going away for college. It was a great decision since I was very successful. Once we were able to put the TS aside, I was able to focus on academics. After attending Bradley University in Peoria, Ill., I received my master’s degree and specialist degree from Georgia State University.

KE: What advice would you give to parents of children who struggle with learning challenges?
BC: Be your child’s biggest advocate. Teach your own child how to advocate for himself, too.
Keep that positive attitude. We all have obstacles in life we must overcome. It is not the obstacles we need to focus on, but our ability to move around those obstacles that represents who we are.
Perseverance! Never give up. Don’t make excuses. It may take awhile to find the right way or a better way to do things. In the meantime, don’t give up!

KE: What advice would you give a child who is struggling in school?
BC: Keep that positive attitude, don’t ever give up, and follow your dreams. Don’t allow anyone to get in your way!

KE: Is there anything that you would do differently or think should have been done differently for you during your childhood education?
BC: Nope. I believe I am the person I am today because of the experiences I went through growing up. Having TS is a gift that allows me to give back to the field of education and make a difference in the lives of the people I work with everyday.

KE: How do you define success at this point in your life?
BC: If one is happy in what they are doing, and their passion comes out and is passed on to others, then success has been achieved! Success is what happens when young children follow their dreams despite the obstacles that stand in their way.

Brad Cohen is an author, speaker and, foremost, a teacher. His book, Front of the Class, was made into a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie. He has been featured on the Oprah show, Inside Edition, and in People Magazine. He teaches elementary school in Cobb County, Atlanta, Ga., and is married to Nancy. His Web site is www.classperformance.com.

Kids Enabled would like to thank Brad for sharing his story with our readers.

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Dreaming Past the Obstacles

Matthew’s struggles began shortly after birth. Visual and auditory losses contributed to his challenges as a student. Success sometimes seemed far away, but a loving family, dedicated professionals and innovative programs kept Matthew focused on a bright future.

KE: What were your biggest struggles growing up? What were your toughest challenges in the classroom?
Matthew Roush: Being in classes with different kinds of kids – I did not feel like I fit in with anyone in particular.
Susan Roush: Developing friendships with peers has always been difficult for Matthew.

KE: How old were you when you were diagnosed with a learning disability? What is your earliest memory of struggling in school?
SR: It was apparent that Matthew would learn differently from the time he was an infant. We did not know to what degree his sensory challenges (hearing and vision) would affect his development so we tried many different things. It seems like he began therapy the day he was born! There were periods of time where we saw very little progress but we never gave up.

KE: How did your challenges change as you progressed through elementary, middle school and high school?
SR: The public school system began providing services when he was 5. He was evaluated at the Atlanta Area School for the Deaf and attended school there until the third grade. We often re-evaluated his communication, learning and behavior and made changes to his program. Oftentimes he would make progress in one area, only to fall way behind in another. He learned to compensate for his visual and auditory challenges and learned to read sight words and to follow very short oral directions. Socially, he would gravitate towards teachers and adults, which he has continued to do. In the third grade, he began attending school in the Atlanta Public School System. Each year Matthew’s Individualized Education Plan (IEP) team met, reviewed his year and made plans for the next. Some years he was in a more inclusive environment, other years he was in a more self-contained environment. Our goal was always to help him be as inde- pendent as possible.

KE: Were there any particular interventions or teaching methods that helped you make gains academically?
MR: I have been lucky to have many good teachers and bus drivers. The ones I remember the most, are the ones who gave good hugs or let me know they cared about me. I always wanted to make them proud of me.
SR: From the beginning, Matthew had an IEP. Matthew made more gains when teachers would/could ac-tively engage him and make the appropriate modifications to his learning material. If he was asked to sit and “listen” for a long period or read books/tests with fine print, we would see significant negative behaviors increase. Once Matthew began using a personal FM system, we saw a marked improvement in what he understood as well as his self-esteem. Matthew has participated in Challenger baseball, the SOAR sports program at the Marcus Jewish Community Center and Special Olympics. He has attended day camps and spend-the-night camps. Currently he enjoys bowling with friends from Lekotek. He just thinks he is never busy enough!

KE: Did your struggles ever cause your self-esteem to suffer?
MR: I don’t think so. My family and friends always made me feel good about myself. They let me know that being different can be a good thing.

KE: Can you describe your social struggles in more detail and tell us what you think was at the root of those difficulties?
MR: I have always had trouble making friends on my own. I do have a few friends I e-mail. My job takes a lot of my time now, so it’s harder to have a social life!
SR: Matthew has always had difficulty communicating with peers and initiating activities. Classmates sometimes had a hard time understanding his speech due to his hearing loss. Typical peers were often nice to Matthew but did not spend extended time with him.

KE: Did you feel prepared to go to work after graduating from high school?
MR: Yes! I felt prepared and ready to go to work. I would much rather have a job than sit at home with nothing to do.
SR: Matthew tried an interesting mix of classes – some academic, some vocational, some independent living skills and some community-based work. He learned what things he did not want to do in the future and what things were important to him. At one point, it was suggested that Matthew attend the Helen Keller Center for the Deaf-Blind in NY where he could meet other students with sensory loss, and learn new techniques used by others with vision and hearing loss. Spending eight weeks away from home was a major step towards Matthew learning that he wanted to be independent and that we as parents would have to learn to let go. At age 18, he began participating in the Explorer’s Program at the Bobby Dodd Institute. He was chosen to participate in Project Search which was a partnership between SunTrust Bank, the school system, and Briggs and Associates. After several months of teaching and on-the-job training, Matthew was hired! He has his own cubicle and his responsibilities include imaging and scanning docu- ments. He is learning to adjust to real life situations such as getting used to a new manager.

KE: What advice would you give to parents of children who struggle with learning challenges?
SR: Every child’s needs are different and every family is different. Our family has tried to build on each other’s strengths to get through the tough times. We knew that we would set the tone for communication and attitude. We also felt that Matthew would have a better chance of success if he stayed in a school setting for as long as possible and had as many work opportunities as possible. Enable your child to see other children/adults who are dealing with a learning difference positively. Budget your time and be sure to record medical and educational data. Often teachers communicate by e-mail, and it is certainly easy to save their letters to a folder. Support your school and your teachers.

KE: Is there anything that you would do differently or think should have been done differently for you during your childhood education?
SR: There are certain class situations that I wish would have been different for Matthew, but they have helped prepare him for a world where he must constantly adapt. He has learned (with the help of other teachers) that he must advocate for himself. I wish we had taken advantage of re- sources for deaf/blind students at a much earlier age. The Georgia Sensory Assistance Project (GSAP) at Georgia State has been a wonderful resource. They provided assistance to teachers and enabled many sensory-impaired students within the state to network with each other. Lastly, I would have advocated for Matthew to receive Orientation and Mobility instruction in elementary or junior high school. Matthew has always had a keen sense of direction. Mobility and Orientation instruction and cooking instruc- tion provided hands-on decision making practice that made sense to Matthew and gave him pride and independence.

KE: How do you defi ne success at this point in your life?
MR: Success at this point of my life is having a job that I like and traveling there independently using a cane, the bus and the train. I was given several awards at my school at year end. It made me feel good to know that others noticed my hard work and progress.
SR: For years we have dreamed of this outcome –Matthew graduating from high school (North Atlanta) and working. The fact that he was already employed when he graduated was icing on the cake! Our focus now is on ad- justing to a workplace environment and developing an inde- pendent living arrangement with peers in which Matthew can maintain friendships and a social activity schedule. He will continue to have issues and obstacles to overcome, but given the right support we are confident that he will be able to tackle them.

Kids Enabled would like to thank Matthew Roush and his mom Susan for sharing their story with our readers.

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Matthew Roush: From High School to SunTrust – One Young Man’s Success Story

KE: What were your biggest struggles growing up? What were your toughest challenges in the classroom?
SM: My biggest struggle was staying on track for more than a couple of seconds, which made most learning hard. My toughest challenges in the classroom were reading, writing and spoken language. I spent from kindergarten to 7th grade in speech therapy. I had a very hard time with reading and writing.

KE: How old were you when you were diagnosed with a learning disability? What is your earliest memory of struggling in school?
SM: My mom was on the ball, but it took until 4th grade before the education system would allow a test to diagnose me with ADHD and dyslexia. My earliest memory of struggling in school is the first day of school when no one spoke my “language.”

KE: How did your challenges change as you progressed through elementary, middle school, high school and beyond?
SM: Through speech therapy, my speech was understandable by most people by 7th grade. The reading was very difficult in 5th grade and I moved to the Howard School. Their teaching style for basic studies was to al- low for the info to be learned on tape, and tests were given verbally. There were also specialty classes for reading and writing, with basic skills taught in memorization. My grades were fair when using this system. I now have basic life coping skills. I read a few easy books a year. I can read magazine articles. For job related issues, I can read well enough to figure it out. For anything of importance, I have my wife read it to me, even if I already understand it a little. I will not write anything for anyone to read except my wife. I actually dictated this article to her. For my ADHD, I expend my energy as an athlete and take no medication (except way too much coffee). The ADHD definitely gives me energy over and above most people.

KE: Do you remember any particular interventions or teaching methods that helped you make gains academically?
SM: Learning and testing verbally and on tape helped. I also use memorization and set up my own system of doing things. Learning to advocate for myself to accomplish the necessary tasks also helps.

KE: Can you describe any social struggles you may have had due to your learning difference? How did you overcome them?
SM: I was a fairly tough kid and speaking out was not a problem for me, but it was a problem for everyone else in the class. I would grow bored and despondent and would respond to something that no one else was talking about. The thoughts would run through my head faster than anybody could imagine. It is the same problem with words. I am ahead of the words before they can be put on paper. I finally graduated from high school and in “real life” learned I could do great things with my thoughts and abilities.

KE: What advice would you give to parents of children who struggle with learning challenges? What advice would you give a child who is struggling in school?
SM: I believe for every learning challenge, there is an opposite greatness that can be found. I would tell the child to pay attention to as much as he can and to remember that there are only 12 mandatory grades.

KE: Is there anything that you would do differently or think should have been done differently for you during your childhood education?
SM: I think that the Howard School gave me the best education because they prepare the students to be success- ful with what God gave them. Schools should focus on what the students’ strengths are so they can excel. A “one size fits all” approach doesn’t work. Some students are hands-on and some are book smart. I have found many people in my life that are very much like me, working with their hands, owning their own businesses and making a good living.

KE: When did athletics become an important part in your life?
SM: Physical activity has always been with me thanks to my ADHD. Throughout school, I was never super-talented in any ball sport, but I was a decent runner. I started ca- noeing at age 14 and competing at 16. I made the US Junior Slalom Whitewater team in canoe singles twice in ’95 and ’96 during my junior and senior years at Howard School. I was a member of the Senior US Slalom Whitewater team from 1998 to 2004 with Dave Hepp and in 2007-2008 with Austin Crane. I was on the US Junior World Champion- ship team, (with my future wife) in 1996 in Lipno, Czech Republic and the 2001 Senior World Championships team in Bourg St. Maurice, France. I was a national champion multiple times in C-2 slalom whitewater canoeing. I also was named an alternate to the Olympics three times. In Extreme Race on Green River in 2000, I placed fourth. Lastly, I won the Silver medal at a World Cup.

KE: Are there any coaches that helped you become successful? Tell us about them.
SM: Mike Larimer was a good mentor for me. He was the National Team coach during the 1996 Olympic Games and was good enough to allow me to work-out in Senior National Team workouts. Rafel Smolen, a no-nonsense coach that pushed for a high level of performance, moved to the US from Poland in 1998 and was my coach from 1998-2000 and then again in 2007-2008. Eves Narduzzi, a former French National Team paddler who is now coaching for the French, was my coach from 2000-2004. He pushed me technically and physically to be the best.

KE: How do you defi ne success at this point in your life?
SM: Success is completing a task. I thrive on many small accomplishments, from finishing a run, to making it to the top of a mountain on a bike, to just putting myself out there and pushing myself as hard as I can and knowing I did it. In my job, success is finding a new project, finishing a frame on a house, or all the small goals along the way of building a house. It is having someone pleased with what you just made for them. It is being able to make more money each year and being able to do something better than before – year after year and project after project. Also, improving physically and technically year after year equals success.

Kids Enabled would like to thank Scott McCleskey for sharing his story with our readers.

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Scott McCleskey: Finding the Energy to Succeed

Jonathan Abbott, 29, went to school in rural Georgia at a time when special education services were reserved for those in very special circumstances. While there were no official services for her son, Ann’s perseverance and love, with the support of family, helped Jon reach great heights.

Ann Elliott is the mother of three grown children. She is also a passionate supporter of Kids Enabled and a consultant to families helping them obtain financial support for their children’s therapies. Her passion didn’t start there. It started as an advocate for her oldest son, Jonathan Abbott, who at the age of 12 was diagnosed with Autism. This diagnosis was fairly new in the early 90s. Ann and Jon talk to Kids Enabled and share their struggles during a time when special education was very difficult to obtain in rural Georgia. Through these struggles comes triumph for a mother who wouldn’t give up on her child.

KE to Jonathan: What were your biggest struggles growing up?
JA: School bullies. I got picked on a lot.

KE to Mom: What were Jon’s toughest challenges in the classroom?
AE: Jonathan had a hard time paying attention, understanding, staying on task and expressing himself. He became frustrated and would have meltdowns. He would beat up tree trunks until his knuckles bled. We had to change schools twice. He got beaten up more than once and hated school.

KE to Mom: How old was Jon when he was diagnosed?
AE: Jon walked late and talked late. He seemed to be late on everything except reading, which he was doing well at age 3. He was my first child so I didn’t know there was a problem until, at age 3, he stopped talking. After a couple of weeks without a word, I took him to our pediatrician. He said he was “a boy” and it would pass. I was very frustrated; this was not normal and something was definitely wrong, yet I couldn’t get any answers.

We didn’t hear the word “Autism” until he was 12 when we took him to the Southeastern Psychological Institute. They tested him for three full days and then talked about Autism and developmental delays. The diagnosis was so new and there just weren’t a lot of resources at the time.

KE to Jonathan: What are your earliest memories of school? Any teachers that you would like to remember that helped you along the way?
JA: In kindergarten, my teacher was mean to me. She put me in a cube and made fun of me to the class. She called me retarded. My teachers would get mad at me because I didn’t understand, but they didn’t have time to help me much. I had one real good teacher named Ms. Head. She hugged me a lot.

KE to Mom: How did Jon’s challenges change as you progressed through elementary, middle school and high school?
AE: Jon would cry daily and beg me not to make him go to school. He said they didn’t like him and were mean to him. We lived in a rural area and there were no “special classes” except for the profound children. Jon didn’t qualify, so there was just me. His teachers took the “sink or swim” attitude and he sank. His grades were terrible, but since I spent so much time going to school talking to his teachers, they would pass him.

I worked in the ER and asked every doctor if they knew anything about Jon’s symptoms. They were wonderful and enlightened me about a new therapy called occupational therapy. I wrote letters and made calls. I worked with Jon doing puzzles, stacking blocks – anything I could think of. He couldn’t get speech therapy at that time because it was only for stroke victims.

Middle school was not as bad because they were starting to understand that all kids aren’t the same. I had a couple of teachers who were interested in him and they would give me information and try to work with me. Jon still didn’t have school friends but his siblings and his cousins were his friends.

As Jon approached his senior year, we discovered he couldn’t graduate because he lacked credits. Luckily, the technical school in our area had a new program for “special kids.” Through this program, he was not taught a specific skill, but he received one-on-one help with the important classes he needed to graduate. In 1998, when he was a few months shy of 19, Jon not only graduated, but received special achievement honors.

KE to Jonathan: What did you like best about school? What did you like least about school?
JA: School was hard. I didn’t have too many friends. My mom had to go to school a lot. I didn’t do good in some subjects, but I liked history. It was hard. My teachers didn’t help much. My mom would work with me every day and wouldn’t give up on me.

KE to Mom: Did Jon’s struggles ever cause his self-esteem to suffer?
AE: Jon spent his early years in frustration, literally banging his head on the wall and floor and saying, “I am so dumb! I can’t! They hate me!” His self-esteem was zero.

When his brother was born, Jon was 10. I told him the importance of being a big brother and how I needed him to help look after his brother and sister. He took that to heart.

At 12, he asked for a weight bench for Christmas. He thought if he had muscles, no one would pick on him. I bought the bench and he was right. Once he started looking “bulky and muscular,” kids left him alone. He still didn’t have any friends, but at least he wasn’t ridiculed.

KE to Mom: Can you describe Jon’s social struggles, if any, in more detail?
AE: He never went to a dance, a prom or a ball game. He avoided any school functions. He never spent the night away from home except with his aunt, cousins and his sister and brother. He had one date in high school. They went to the movies and dinner. He would never tell me what happened, but he didn’t date again until he was in his 20s.

KE to Mom: What were you feeling as Jon approached graduation? Did you think he was prepared to be independent? Did his schooling help build the skills for that independence? If not, as a parent how do you deal with that?
AE: Just getting him to graduation was a challenge, but I was so proud of him for just hanging in there, for not giving up. I knew it would be a long time before he would be “independent.” He did not get his driver’s license until he was in his 20’s.

If his teachers and his experiences helped, it was minimal. There just wasn’t a lot of help for a child with special needs at his schools at that time. His strengths came more from his family.

I think the key to helping Jon with self-esteem and meltdowns was keeping a strict schedule. We learned that the key to disarming his meltdowns was humor. If we could make him laugh, he was fine.

Jonathan loves comic books, movies and games. Our first computer was like a dream come true for him. He can catalogue data and spout off facts that none of us could ever retain. He simply loves information.

KE to Jonathan: Were you given any training while in high school to prepare you for life after graduation?
JA: I did not get any training; I didn’t know what I was going to do.

KE to Mom: What advice would you give to parents of children who are diagnosed with autism?
AE: No two children, with or without a disability, are the same. There is no “cookie cutter” answer for any child. You find their strengths, work with them and never, ever give up. Give them the tools, show them how to use them, constantly encourage them and love them no matter what. Believe anything is possible.

KE to Jonathan: What advice would you give another child or parent?
JA: Don’t give up.

KE to Mom: Is there anything that you would do differently or think should have been done differently for Jonathan during his childhood education?
AE: To have been able to put Jonathan in classes and activities that would have worked with his strengths would have been ideal, but it just wasn’t to be. I would have loved to have been able to communicate with his teachers better and had them more involved.

KE to Mom: How do you define success at this point in your life?
AE: Jon is very sharp. He is loving, kind, supportive and would do anything for his family. He works very hard and is proud of his achievements. The fact that he could be independent if he were suddenly left alone is a great comfort to me. Even though he still gets upset when his schedule is changed or he gets separated from us in a crowd, he now deals with this very well. Thank God for cell phones!

KE to Jonathan: How do you define success at this point in your life?
JA: My family is the best. I have a great mom and brother; he’s cool. She fought for me all my life. I have a good job that I have been at for seven years. I have a car and own a house.

KE to Jonathan: What kind of job do you have and do you like what you are doing?
JA: I am a welder for a tractor company. I really like the people I work with. They are good to me. I am good at my job and when I take a vacation, they miss me a lot.

KE to Mom: What are the three biggest successes in Jon’s life so far?
AE: His job is excellent. The people he works with know he is a hard worker, is always on time, is consistent and interested and they love him. The men he works with are his friends. He comes home each day and tells me all the interesting things about his day.

He loves his family. He likes watching TV and movies, going to the mall and playing games. He absorbs information so we never have to have a tour guide when we travel!

Jon is writing a book about his life and has been working on it for four years. He writes in his journal every day. Since the word “Autism” was not mentioned until Jon was older, we never told him, singled him out or labeled him so he would probably not describe himself as “Autistic.”

Kids Enabled would like to thank Jonathan Abbott and his mom, Ann Elliott for sharing their story with our readers.

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A Mother and Son Success Story