Success Stories

Learning Differences at Boarding School: One Family’s Perspective

On the path of learning differences, children do not travel alone. The struggles are often felt by the family as a whole. Bart Adam’s story is no exception – it is a family’s story of success found at boarding school.

Kids Enabled: What were your biggest struggles growing up? What were your toughest challenges in the classroom?
Bart Adams: My biggest struggle growing up was that I was always doing class work and homework. When I was in class, I was always behind everyone else — about three blackboard panels behind. Teachers would write on the board and ask me if I was done with the first one so they could erase it and put number four up. That got really old.
It was the same thing at night; other kids would be out playing and I’d be inside doing homework. Someone in my family would always be helping me; they took turns. We’d break for dinner, and then I’d work at homework again until it got done. The only social times I had were on weekends when I only had one night’s worth of homework and could actually relax a bit. That didn’t do much for my social skills.

KE: How old were you when you were diagnosed with a learning difference? What is your earliest memory of struggling in school?
BA: I remember struggling with homework as early as second grade. I was actually diagnosed right around then since that is when it became apparent that I was having a hard time producing written output. I remember when I actually finished my homework by 7:00 pm, and I was so excited I shared that with my teacher the next day. Her response was, “Yes; and so?” And I’d been so excited. The work wasn’t difficult intellectually. I got really good grades; it just took me forever to get there.

KE: Were there any particular interventions or teaching methods that helped you make gains academically?
BA: Things got better when I inherited my older brother’s laptop. I got so that I could pretty much keep up because I can type much faster than I can write. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the laptop until sixth grade. I was still slower than other students when I was doing handwritten work. When I went to boarding school, we had designated study hall times, and I’d get my work done in those study halls. We were always told we’d be expected to put in more work in the evening, but my foreign language classes were the only ones that I had to work on in the evenings at that point.

KE: Did your struggles ever cause your self-esteem to suffer?
BA: In struggling with my ADD and other issues, my self-esteem definitely suffered. For one thing, I was left out. While other kids were playing, I was doing homework. I felt bad; I knew I was smart, but if I was smart, why was I having such trouble doing work that everyone else did easily? The need to stick with school work until it was done also did not help me learn social skills or how to get along with others.

KE: Did you feel prepared to go to college after graduating from high school?
BA: I felt prepared for college after my boarding school experience. I learned to make my own decisions since I didn’t have my family close by. The only problem I had originally was that I had to contact Academic Resources and tell strangers all about myself, share confidential information about testing, and trust them to use that information positively. Once I conquered that hurdle (which was mostly in my own mind) I didn’t have any problems. I could tell some of my professors didn’t like having to let me have extra time for tests, but when it’s documented that I need that particular accommodation, they didn’t have any choice.

KE: What advice would you give a child who is struggling in school?
BA: My advice for a child struggling in school is to use any accommodations for which they’re eligible – and to use a laptop. If you’re having trouble, don’t be afraid to talk to someone and ask if you might have a learning difference. Learning differences are not necessarily bad; they’re different and they do provide advantages sometimes. They may cause you to be less efficient at some things, but you’ll find methods that will allow you to make up for that difference. Medication may help; getting extra time allocated may help; finding a different way to take notes (typing as opposed to writing) may help. It’s the same as wearing glasses if your vision isn’t 20/20. Don’t be afraid of using tools that you need to get your work done.

A Mom’s Perspective

I think Bart’s biggest struggles growing up were learning how to integrate his social ineptitude with the cruelty of classmates. Most times, I believe that their remarks were unintentionally cruel, but cruel nonetheless. He knew he was “odd man out” and wanted so desperately to “belong.” Bart is very intelligent, and knew that he wasn’t most kids’ favorite playmate, but he couldn’t understand why.

I knew that Bart was different very early. He was third of three boys and I took him repeatedly to our pediatrician who kept telling me to quit comparing my boys. He was actually diagnosed with ADD at about age seven; by then, it was a relief to have something to point to as to why he was “different.”

Bart went to a small, private school until eighth grade. At that point, with the help of some awesome counselors and a marvelous educational consultant, we (my husband, Bart, and I) made the difficult decision to send Bart away to a specialized boarding school. I literally beat the bushes to try to find a place near Atlanta for Bart, but the only places that we could find that dealt with the kinds of learning differences he had were in the Northeast.

Bart ended up going to boarding school for the four years of high school. I told him often that we had planted lots of seeds, but that those seeds needed to get to just the right environment to flourish. And, flourish is just what he did. His school focused on three areas: academics, athletics and accountability. Every time we visited him, we could see changes in self-confidence levels and social skills. His teacher reports/comments became consistently good.

Bart became a student leader. He took up mountain biking, skiing and canoeing (which worked better for him than team sports) and found he loved physical exertion and that having a physical outlet helped him to do better academically and socially. He became the school store manager and handled ordering, inventory, cash flow and sales. This from my son, who at one point carried a “morning” knapsack and an “afternoon” knapsack because he couldn’t handle getting the right books for the right classes from his locker within the two minute limit!

After his sophomore year, we considered him returning home to Atlanta to finish high school. After a long time of considering and weighing pros and cons, Bart chose to finish high school at his boarding school. Our family missed a lot of things that I’d like to have been a part of during those four years, but the man he is today is directly attributable to the experiences that he was able to have in boarding school. We were lucky to be able to find that solution, and to be able to afford it for our son. We considered the monies spent to be an investment in his life – and what better place to invest one’s money?

We then chose a small college for Bart; one that had a reputation for caring for its students personally, as well as academically. He did well in college, graduating with a bachelor’s and master’s in mechanical engineering with an emphasis in mechanism design within the normal time frame. He currently works for an engineering firm designing underwater robotic devices.

Bart is our success story.