The Gift of Success

Struggling through a learning difference gave Jenny Hamm the insight to see her challenges as a gift and a path toward contentment.

“I feel incredibly gratified when I’m able to work on something that I’m passionate about and then have it recognized by others as being a worthwhile effort.”

Kids Enabled: What were your biggest struggles growing up? What were your toughest challenges in the classroom?
Jenny Hamm: The toughest challenges were social. I wasn’t active in sports, and though I was friendly and out-going once I got to know someone, I was an introvert. I don’t feel comfortable with large groups of strangers, and I felt that everyone was laughing at me. Of course they weren’t, but I had to become more confi dent and forgiving of my own fl aws before I could see that. Much of that insecurity was related to how hard it was for me to keep up with the rest of my classmates. Now I can see that when I started to feel more confi dent as a student, I felt more secure in my social interactions.

KE: How old were you when you were diagnosed with a learning disability? What is your earliest memory of
struggling in school?
JE: I was 8 years old when I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. I have always had a tendency to live in my own little world. As it became increasingly difficult to follow along in class, I began to lose larger tracts of time to my own imagination. I remember sitting in my reading group and was called on to read a sentence about a man with a green hat. I was 7 years old and felt humiliated at how difficult it was to flounder through that sentence in front of my classmates. The teacher had gone over the sentence, but I’d been lost in my daydream and wasn’t paying attention. These “spells” of lost time became so bad that my parents had me tested for petit mal seizures. The tests came back negative, of course. If someone had just
asked me, I would have said I was bored and daydreaming. I didn’t understand then that not being able to stop daydreaming was anything unusual.

KE: How did your challenges change as you progressed through elementary, middle school and high school?
JH: Before I was diagnosed with learning differences, I considered myself to be something of a math person since my reading and writing skills were miserable. When my parents enrolled me in a small private school for kids with learning differences, I realized school didn’t have to be the scourge of my life. My understanding of my challenges began to shift. Reading and writing became the overwhelming loves of my academic life, while math and sciences became increasingly frustrating and mysterious. I understand now that this shift happened because my particular learning difference made (and still makes) it difficult for me to keep track of details. Focus was, and always will be, a problem for me. I either focused too much or not enough. It took me hours to get homework assignments done, because I worried over getting every single little thing right. I kept getting distracted and had to drag myself back on task. Medication helped my concentration immensely. Although my grades were usually A’s and B’s, it took me forever to get anything done. I have still not mastered time management skills. That’s OK though, because life is a work in progress.

KE: Were there any particular interventions or teaching methods that helped you make gains academically?
JH: Yes! Medication made a huge difference in my ability to concentrate and comprehend. It frustrates me that there’s a stigma attached to medication. Taking a medication to help you concentrate isn’t cheating or a crutch. It does not change who you are as a person. I don’t take medication anymore, and I’m the same person now as I was in school. Medication, when appropriate, is a tool that removes obstacles so that children can become who they are on the inside.

I was fortunate to go to a small and specialized private school where I was exposed to different ways of learning. I can’t say enough how helpful it was to have more one-on-one time with my teachers. When I didn’t understand something, the teacher had time to explain things in greater detail or in a new way entirely. Tutoring is also a great option; it relieves academic pressure if you have someone outside of class who can help.

For kids with ADD, keeping a high level of interest is key. When I was 8, I could barely read, but I found a magazine that really interested me. The articles were short, funny and came with lots of comic strips and visual aids. I made the greatest strides when I really pushed myself to read something I enjoyed. The man with the green hat was boring, but the adventures of superheroes and weird little bits of trivia were worth the effort. By the time I was 9, I was reading at high school level. Find things that your kids are interested in and try to integrate that into their learning experience; making learning active and interactive really makes a difference.

Lastly, being a constant and positive presence for your kids will make the difference. Our parents really devoted themselves to being there for us, whether it was just to listen to us vent or to help us with our work. My brother and I, both, were really lucky that our parents understood the difference between pressuring us and encouraging us to succeed. They always reminded us that it was OK to fail as long as we were trying; it wasn’t ok not to try.

KE: Did your struggles ever cause your self-esteem to suffer?
JH: Of course. I think that’s natural. I felt insecure for years; I still do, but to a much lesser degree. At first, my self-esteem issues sprang from my academic struggles, and then later, from the fact that I was overweight and terrible at sports. Now I just have a better understanding of how to put my insecurities into perspective. The key is to find the things that you excel at and celebrate them. Then use those talents to find ways to succeed in the areas where you struggle.

KE: Did you feel prepared to go to college after graduating from high school?
JH: Yes and no. I knew I was educated enough for college, but I had also gotten a lot of one-on-one help at small schools. I knew college wasn’t going to be like that. Fortunately, by the time I enrolled in college, there were programs and policies in place to help students who needed accommodations. I applied for accommodation privileges every semester. I found that I rarely had to use those accommodations, but I made them available to myself. I think that’s how I felt the most prepared. I had learned how to stand up for myself, and find the resources I needed for success.

KE: What advice would you give to parents of children who struggle with learning challenges?
JH: Do some research and learn the nuances of your child’s learning differences. Find ways to engage your kid’s interest. Get creative with your approaches and think outside the box. Your kids are already thinking outside the box, so you might as well join them. Encourage your kids and stick with them, but don’t pressure them. They feel enough pressure from themselves. Don’t be afraid to consider medication. Seek tutoring.

Try to think of your child’s learning differences as a gift. They see the world in a completely different way from everyone else. I always joke that it’s an interesting place inside my head, but the truth is…it is. Some of the most creative, interesting, and intelligent people that I know are people with ADD, ADHD, Tourette’s syndrome and dyslexia. They’re all people who’ve grown up to have good lives and good jobs because they had the support of their families at home.

KE: What advice would you give a child who is struggling in school?
JH: Tell people when something isn’t working for you. Whether it’s the way your teacher is explaining things, or your meds, or the people you have to sit with, it’s not going to get any better until you say something. Don’t give up when something doesn’t work on the first or second try. You get to see things in a way most other people never do. Use that to your advantage and find a different angle from which to approach your problem. Find what you like and use that as your “in” whenever possible. Don’t feel bad about getting up and walking away from a problem for a few minutes if you feel like your head is about to explode. Find someone who will listen and talk about how you feel.

KE: Is there anything that you would do differently or think should have been done differently for you during your childhood education?
JH: I guess if I were going to really search for something to change, it would have been in the way I approached things in school. I think that after feeling like I was so inept when I was young, I became kind of addicted to doing things “perfectly.” It wasn’t really until I reached college that I figured out that it didn’t have to be all about grades all the time. It didn’t necessarily matter whether I had tested well, as long as I learned something.

KE: How do you define success at this point in your life?
JH: For myself, I define success as completing something that I didn’t think I had the ability to do, no matter how trivial it may seem. Anytime I finish something that I start, I count it as a win. I feel incredibly gratified when I’m able to work on something that I’m passionate about and then have it recognized by others as being a worthwhile effort. I suppose that’s why, when I look around at my friends and try to define their success, it’s not necessarily by how much they have, but instead by how happy they seem. When I look at myself and my friends, I don’t define our successes by how “good” our jobs are, or how much we make, but whether we’re doing something that makes us happy, or at the very least, proud and content.

Jenny Hamm, 25, is a recent graduate of the University of North Carolina at Wilmington where she earned a degree in creative writing. While attending UNCW, a piece of her work was published in a school sponsored anthology celebrating the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. She also won a city-wide poetry slam. Jenny is returning to school to improve her computer skills and hopes to earn her master’s degree in creative writing in the next year or two.

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